Category: Poetry

I wonder if its an illness
to want to live to see regret, 

Egg on fate 
hoping it would respond, 

Looking for trouble 
for its attention, 
hoping when it makes impact 
that might just be enough to reanimate 
what you've buried. 

"Uh oh, you've given me thoughts."

Grains of it,
Like rice you spilled,
All over my kitchen floor.
Reaching under the fridge, 
Separating the dust from the kernel,
Fistfuls of dust,
For the one.
 

All rights reserved © 2025 Josephine Joyil 

I ask myself why I keep deceiving 
myself into believing I like line dancing. 

“Toe heel step! Toe heel step!” 
On a loop,
for thirty minutes straight.

Oddly enough, 
it reminds me of doing math homework as a kid. 

I spin in circles, 
getting my toes and heels stepped on, 
And see the pretty blond girl
Who dragged me here
Smile for the first time in a month. 

I smile back.

Toe heel step.
Tow heal step! 

All rights reserved © 2025 Josephine Joyil 

I feel snagged,
Like a burr on a sweater,
Buried in wool.
Suffocating.
But exposed to the cold 
All the same.
Destined to stay stuck 
Where I don’t belong,
Watching the world pass,
Just out of reach. 

All rights reserved © 2025 Josephine Joyil 

I would've enjoyed this life more, 
If I'd done it all, 
When I was a bit older.

"Foolish child, 
Don't you know that to grow is to live?"

No. 
For there are no living pains, 
Only growing pains. 

"What has stopped growing,
is dead."

And what has stopped dying, 
Wont grow. 

All rights reserved © 2024 Josephine Joyil 

If I succumb now 
It’ll prove something about the world 
That I don’t want to be true, 
That I won’t wish into truth. 

So I stay kicking,
Against the tangled sea weed
Pulling me down
By the ankles 
To the ocean floor. 
I keep my face 
Above the broken surface 
Knowing that my legs, 
Human and weak,
Must fail me eventually, 
And that my breath 
Won’t hold out forever 
And that I must keep fighting for another second 
And then another more 
For if I succumb now
I will never see light again.

All rights reserved © 2024 Josephine Joyil 

And warm, 

Who makes you feel safe, 

And realize, 

That you’re not quite as patient 

As you should be, 

And fills you with guilt,

For your wrongs, 

In a way

That only the innocent can.

All rights reserved © 2024 Josephine Joyil 

Just by willing it, 
And refusing to accept “no”
As the final answer.

Keep digging, 
And once you hit the molten core, 
And your shovel melts, 
Let yourself melt with it, 
And become part of something bigger.

Or cease to be.
Either way, you haven’t settled for “no.”

All rights reserved © 2024 Josephine Joyil

The anger protects you.
So you’re reluctant to let it go.

Stay angry, if you dare.

Or let down that shield, 
And let fear take a stab. 
What have you to lose? 
Pride? 
Ha!

That thin film that clings to your face, 
Stopping breath.

Just stop.

All rights reserved © 2024 Josephine Joyil

Here for you today, 
But not for you, 
For you, 
Unlike it, 
Aren’t forever. 

All rights reserved © 2024 Josephine Joyil